15-year-old boy invites stepmom to football team's mother-son dinner, bio mom gets offended before realizing it's her son's choice: 'In all honesty, I don't want her to go'

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Sep 18, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Parenting after divorce is certainly not easy; it comes with its fair shares of tricky situations, especially when it comes to navigating boundaries with biological parents and stepparents. One mom found herself caught in the middle when her 15-year-old son's football team announced a special mother-son dinner. She was excited for an opportunity to bond with him, but she then learned that her ex's wife also planned to attend.

For this mom, the thought of sharing the event with her ex's wife was uncomfortable. After all, she's the boy's mother, and she felt like it would have been respectful for the stepmom to check in with her first, at the very least. She understood, of course, that for the past several years, this woman had been a mother figure for her son. So, she took to the internet to figure out the flaws in her thinking, and surprisingly, she came to change her mind for the better in the end. 

This situation reminds me of an experience that I had in elementary school during Grandparent's Day. As a kid, I was really close to one of my elderly neighbors. Because my actual grandmother lived so far away, across several states, I ended up asking my neighbor to attend the event with me. Apparently, my grandma perceived this as some sort of offense. My parents ended up smoothing things over, but for a minute there, I really thought she'd be upset with me forever. 

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  • 01

    AITA if I tell my son's step mother she cant go to a mother/son dinner?

    Mother passes a plate of food to her son while they share a meal
    via Alex P from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    So my 15 year old son has a mother and son dinner event with his football team. I'm obviously
    via u/Little_Entrance_8679
  • 03
    planning to go as it'd be nice bonding time and well..im his mother.
    via u/Little_Entrance_8679
  • 04
    A teenage boy embraces his mother
    via Ekrulila from baseimage

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    Today, my son told me that my ex's wife was planning to go but she didnt say a word to me about it. In all honesty, I dont want her to
    via u/Little_Entrance_8679
  • 06
    go. Yes, shes been in my son's life the passed like 5 years or so but shes not his mom nor did she have the respect to call/text me
    via u/Little_Entrance_8679
  • 07
    and ask how I felt about it. Would I be TA if I politely told her I didn't want her to go? Im just really conflicted.
    via u/Little_Entrance_8679
  • 08
    A mother attempts to console her teenage son
    via Africa images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    Edit: Thank you for your comments!! You made me realize that it's not really my event, that its my son's so he should decide.
    via u/Little_Entrance_8679
  • 10
    He said he'd like us both to go which is perfectly fine with me. Im human and my feelings
    via u/Little_Entrance_8679
  • 11
    clouded my judgement. I actually really appreciate Reddit for this. Sometimes you just cant see the entire picture. Thanks guys!
    via u/Little_Entrance_8679

  • I'm so glad that she came around in the end; parenting isn't a competition, and stepmom is an important figure in his life. 

  • 12
    Sioux-me I see your edit and I just want to say good for you. You put your son first. You're a good mom.
    via u/Sioux-me
  • 13
    Little_Entrance_8679 OP I really appreciate that! I do my best.
    via u/Little_Entrance_8679
  • 14
    curious_2_curiouser I too came late to this and want to thank you so much for not being THAT parent. I have been the step parent and no
    via u/curious_2_curiouser
  • 15
    matter what i did was given a hard time by the mothers despite having a really good. bond with my step children,
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  • 16
    but they just destroyed that because of jealousy and insecurity even though i never tried to take their spots, just tried to be there for the kids
    via u/curious_2_curiouser
  • 17
    No-Assignment5538 YTA. This is going to be really really hard for you: You are not the one who gets to make this choice.
    via u/No-Assignment5538
  • 18
    It is about what your son wants. Does he want you there? her? both of you? IF your son wants her there, you need to respect that.
    via u/No-Assignment5538
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    A high school hallway, empty
    via Canva AI Studio

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 20
    Little_Entrance_8679 OP Honestly, I haven't even asked him and I haven't thought of that. Thanks for this. This is the reason I posted.
    via u/Little_Entrance_8679
  • 21
    Sweet_Cinnabonn Lady, I am so so proud of you for listening, putting your wants aside, and asking your son for his wants.
    via u/Sweet_Cinnabonn
  • 22
    keesouth Do whatever your son wants to do. She can come to as many events she wants to but she'll never take your place. Always remember your kid only benefits when more people love him.
    via u/keesouth
  • 23
    New_Beach1011 This is your son's event. It depends how he feels about it. Who does he want there? How many can go?
    via u/New_Beach1011
  • 24
    I don't think you get the final say when he has two maternal figures in his life. YTA
    via u/New_Beach1011
  • 25
    Swirlyflurry INFO: Does your son want her to go?
    via u/Swirlyflurry
  • 26
    If you're being territorial and trying to keep her from bonding with your son, when she is a part of his life whether you like it or not, then YTA.
    via u/Swirlyflurry
  • 27
    If she invited herself, and your son doesn't necessarily want her there, then NTA.
    via u/Swirlyflurry

Tags

relationship advice stepmother entitled parents stepmom motherhood relationships parenting raising teens divorce married with kids raising kids mom parents
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